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LiveJournal for Eric Wilson.

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Sunday, April 20th, 2008

Subject:Dear Hipster Record Store Clerk
Time:12:29 am.
Mood: distressed.
Thank you for judging me on the CD I bought yesterday. Our passive-aggressive altercation made me realize how conformist I am for buying an old Rage Against The Machine album. Your condescension was just the intellectual wake-up call I needed.

I discovered a new me yesterday, and my eyes were opened in a new way. Thanks to you, I realize now that the key to enlightenment is reading Pitchfork, watching High Fidelity, listening to Velvet Underground, having a tattoo of a star on the inside of my wrist, growing an ironic mustache, living in Brooklyn, and wearing a too-small sweater, multi-colored 70’s ski-vest, chunky plastic-frame glasses, a high school sports T-shirt, air-tight black jeans, and Nixon-era Chuck Taylors.

I had it all wrong, man. You showed me that getting an education and working for a comfortable living is just a lie. I need to go to art school, have my parents pay my rent, join a Joy Division-influenced band, and wait for a record deal, like you. I’m totally missing out in life.

So thanks again for mocking me. I mean, at first I thought you were just a pathetic, frustrated musician trying to feel better about yourself. But now I see you’re an uncompromising visionary.

No one will ever understand you. You’re so different.


Everyone Not Like You
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Monday, December 17th, 2007

Subject:I am a teenager
Time:9:57 pm.
Mood: contemplative.

I want sex. A lot of it.

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Thursday, November 15th, 2007

Subject:how appropriate can you get? part 2
Time:7:16 pm.
Mood: guess.

On November 9th, my good friend Phelim got hit by a train and passed away that same night at 6:08 AM. I don't even know what to say anymore. shit sucks. a lot. i miss him. i miss jamming at his house every other day and watching ninja turtles. it's so hard to accept that someone you cared for so much is gone, and you'll never see them or be with them again. He was such a fun kid, and pushed his luck a lot. I guess it got the best of him this time. It's so sad to talk about. This fall has been heart-wrenching, and with the condition my grandparents are in, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm back in that sickening funeral home again before the year is out.
Hopefully the next time I update, I'll have some good things to report.

Rest in peace Phelim Lynch. November 14th 1990 - November 9th 2007
I'll never forget you bud. 

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

Subject:roll my eyes. burst into tears. how appropriate can you get?
Time:12:48 am.
Mood: morose.

Sitting at my computer. Listening to some music. Everything is good. I actually enjoy school this time around (due to the lack of work, and annoying teachers). I'm talking to some friends. It's really hot. I wish I had some AC.
There's a loud knock at the door. It's almost 11PM on a Monday night. It must be my uncle asking for a beer or money.
I head to the door. Cops? What? Heart beats faster, mind races. "What's the problem?" I ask the men in the door way. "Go get your father right now". I turn away from the door; my mom is already hurrying herself to the door way. I look for my dad near the basement door. I overhear the cop say the name "John". My mom looks worried. I don't know where my dad is. I look at the two men, clearly confused, and worried. My mom leans upstairs and calls for my dad. "It's about John, come down now, it's very important". She sounds serious. My dad comes down and greets the two men.
Forgive my memory at this part. I believe it went something like this. "John, your brother, is dead. We found him on the floor of his apartment". "Oh my god...". I see my dad's eyes begin to tear. "I can't imagine what this is going to do to my parents.". My grand-parents..jesus christ. The cops leave, tell my dad they'll call him with further updates later. I walk over and hug my dad with a tear in my eye, as my mom calls my aunt.
My aunt and other uncle come over and discuss things. Casscet. Funeral. How we can break this to my grandparents.
Fucking shit. Millions of thoughts in my head. Things were going so fucking well. I was ready to see ASOB. I was ready for Halo 3. I was ready for a great year of school. And then, this happens.
By all means, I am not posting this thread in sympathy for myself. Quite the oposite. I just can't believe this happened. I feel so fucking bad for my grandparents, my dad, my aunt. I really try to not get myself depressed over this. I realize I have to be stronger for the other people in my family, who are taking this harder than I.
It's just not fair.

My uncle has had problems for years. He took medication for various mental problems. He was a very rude person, and hard to warm-up to sometimes. Though, that's not always true. He offered to buy me food while I was in town on more than one occasion. I pushed him away, though. He's crazy. He's weird. This is what went through my head.
He often wondered the streets of tulip avenue by himself. Infact, that's all he's done for the past 30 years. He was very lonely. He would often visit my grandparents, and spend time with them, when no one else could. He had told my dad that he wished he could do more. John would often come to my house at night, asking for money or beer. He wasn't a drunk or anything, he was just lonely. Infact, I don't think he's ever gotten drunk in his life. Not that I know of at least.
I could write about him, and his different attributes for eternity, and it still wouldn't do him justice. What I'm really trying to say is; he was a good, honest man at heart, but his demenor, and actions often lead us to think different; and it pains the life out of me to have something like this happen in order to realize that.

Rest in Peace, John Wilson.
I love you.

Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 3rd, 2007

Subject:let shit roll out
Time:3:08 am.
Mood: full.

School starts soon. Again. It seems every year I get the same feeling around this time. I'm not sure if something triggers it or if it's just a natural thing. It's always fun to look back on the year and see what has changed, but the honest truth of the matter is that nothing has. Everything is pretty much the same as it was last year, which is not a bad thing. It's actually more of a relief.
I really don't know where this post is going. I'm kind of regretting starting it, but I'm not giving up at this point.

A not quite perfect circle:

A lot of things are coming to an end this year, as far as video games and music (the two passions of my life) go. 
On September 16th, The Arrogant Sons of Bitches are playing their last show EVER (we've all heard that one before (but it's for realz this time)). The one band I could always relate with to pretty much, all of their songs, and I know how lame that sounds, but it's the honest truth. I'll miss going to their shows A LOT, but Jeff is doing a lot with Bomb the Music Industry! which is also an amazing band, and a lot like ASOB.
On September 18th, I will turn 17. Rated "R" movies are no longer a problem.
On September 25th the Halo trilogy comes full circle as well. Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, I love these games, and I can't wait to "finish the fight" on that date. I know that I shouldn't be playing these games, and should try to socialize more, and perhaps meet a girl. Things just never seem to work out with me and chix for some reason. Is it my fault, or theirs? It's probably about 50/50.

Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy that I'll always be alone?
It's not that obvious that I'm an extreamly picky person. I like you, you don't like me back. You like me, I don't like you back. It can never just be the opposite. I'm not making it easier for myself though. I've come to realize that I'm only ever attracted to older women, and when I say that, don't get the wrong idea. I'm saying about one, maybe two years older. If someone is younger than me, by at least a year or more, it's an instant turn off. I've always been that way. I don't know why, but it's something I've come to realize, and accept. However, accepting the fact that there are very few women out there that are attracted to me, and older than 17, is not easy to choke down.
I've decided to just stop talking to girls*. If they have interest, or care about creating any kind of substantial relationship, albeit, friendship or something more, then they will come to me. I'm through with burdening women with my presence.
*Doing this can make you a very, very, VERY (capital letters and repetition, for emphasis) lonely.

You can get a decent wage, I still can't find a job.
This has been a real pain in the ass. My mom decided she doesn't want to give me money anymore (I can hardly blame her) and it's making it really hard to function in life. I want to start collecting Vinyl, and buy more video games, and buy more instruments. BUY!BUY!BUY!
I mean, the truth of the matter is, I don't need these things, and I'm pretty content with what I have now. All I'm saying is, it would be nice to have some cash in my pocket, so I could pick up some sweet stuff.

Why do I always put so much effort into these updates? I guess it leaves me feeling a little more satisfyed that I put effort into something. It'll make me more satisfyed if you actually read this crapola. Chances are, I'm going to forget something, and edit it a little later when I remember. Whatever Y'all. Defend Brooklyn.

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Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

Subject:let the shit roll in
Time:1:57 am.
Mood: relaxed.

better update coming whenever.

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Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

Subject:yeah yeah
Time:11:52 pm.
Mood: awake.
There was a post on the CTska Message board about livejournals. I almost forgot I had one! And I stress the word "almost"; you know I wouldn't forget about you.
It rehashes a lot of memories from 2004/2005 when I had a moderately large fan base on livejournal. Few remember the escapades of _hosercore_. It was a funny period of time. It's funny how livejournal always makes things look like they're complaints. Did that sentence make sense? Whatever. I guess it doesn't matter.
Anyhow, things have been shifty lately. One day I'll feel great, the next I'll feel like shit. Teenage angst can swing from my nuts. School is going all right, I guess. I've been slacking off a bit lately, but such is my life. I met this girl named Kristine, whom I really like. She knows I do, considering I can barely hold back my feelings for people. I just have such a hard time talking to her in person. Being shy can swing from my nuts. See what I did there? No? Look again. See it now?
With that, I'll leave you with some pre-summer music releases you should check out.

Plea For Peace! Vol. 2 - Compilation
Against Me! - White People For Peace - Seven Inch
HORSE The Band - A Natural Death.

All of those are amazing. The HORSE The Band one isn't even out yet, so it's technically not "pre-summer", but you get the idea.
Things over the summer to look forward to:

Bomb The Music Industry!/Chotto Ghetto show on June 8th at my friend Dan's house (You heard me, a house show).
Vacation to Hawaii, July 29th - August 12th. This is going to rule, regardless of the fact that I'm missing a Choking Victim show, and Wu-Tang Clan/Public Enemy/Rage Against the Machine/Immortal Technique fest.
Bomb the Music Industry - Get Warmer - new LP being released on AsianMan Records and Quote Unquote Records (free on Quote Unquote). I'll be in Hawaii with no computer access when this drops. Bummer.
The Aquabats in Cony Island on August 22nd, and in Manhatten the following day. I'm going to both. Suck it.
The Arrogant Son's of Bitches Reunion show in Manhatten - September 15th. I like how JT is trying to play it up that this show will sell out. I don't think an ASOB show has ever sold out, ever. I'll go I guess. As long as they play "I Pissed in Your Mountain Dew". I'm also on the flyer for the show:

If you can tell which one is me, you're cool. Fuck it, I'll just tell you. I'm dead in the fucking center wearing the Rancid shirt. I think that picture was taken at an ASOB show in like, 2004/2005. I haven't seen that Rancid shirt in years.

There, I'm done. That's all you get until after school is over, and I'm not making any garuntees. I said to someone that my livejournal posts are filled with a lot more angst. I guess this one was an acception. Oops!!
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

Subject:Cynicism is just a depressing way of telling the truth
Time:3:04 am.
Mood: cynical.
Bombs and bullets have no heart, they only tear your flesh apart. To live inside a battle zone, the sins of Man can find a home. And home is where the hate begins, it doesn't count unless it wins. The corporate pigs keep getting fat, and #1 is where it's at. There is no room for #2, just stare into your T.V. tube. The cogs of industry grind on, the lie, the snitch, the teacher's pet. The cop-callers make up the glue, and soon they'll set there sights on you. Without the fear, in which we drown, injustice might not keep us down.
If the neighbors keep you up at night, then talk to 'em, don't sart a fight. Don't be so quick to call police, for it's just the fascist cogs you grease. Why can't we try to make the best? The rest can go and die. We don't want lies to educate the hate. The rest can choke on fate and apple pie.
So with the choice you make, your Wal-Mart life becomes a fake; the plastic crasstic sick facade, becomes your ever-loving god. Diversion fuels this sterile vision with war and lies on television, and we become a mindless ghost. Richest, fattest, deadest, most.
Now it's unjust laws and codes, when freedom rots, the soul erodes, with microscopic brain incisions hooks you to your television. A branded car, a branded wife, a branded home, and a branded life. To wash and clean a spotless day, and pills to clean your thoughts away. A sterile, gated hateful place where cleanest, whitest, wins the race. And all those who don't fit the mold can starve and die out in the cold. Diversion feeds this sterile vision with war and lies on television, and we become a mindless ghost. Richest, fattest, deadest, swollen, most!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 11th, 2007

Time:9:24 pm.
Mood: sick.
What? What happened? did Live Journal change their format again? Why? I'm all confused! Damn Technology! Yeah. I don't think I use this anymore. Things have been good. Things have been bad. Things have changed. Things have stayed the same. I have to use the bathroom, but my toilet broke, and I don't wanna walk up stairs. Yes, I'm that lazy. Sue me! I might be going to Florida in a few weeks; most likely over Presidents gay brake. gay! lol! I don't really want to go, but it's okay. Joe is prolly going to shmalabama alabama to see his brother or something. I don't know. We'll see.

A lot of things happened since I last updated, I guess. Well, not really. Is it 2007 yet? It is? Oh. Calenders. Despite all my complaining, I guess 2006 was a decent year. And I guess 2005 was also. They all kinda mesh togather. I realized that things don't last forever. Yes it took me this long to realize it. It's depressing. Everyday goes faster than the next. Not fast enough sometimes. Fuck I should study for midterms. Uhh okay, wrap this up quick...James Brown is dead, Gerald Ford is dead, Saddam Hussain is dead, I got a Nintendo Wii, The Playstation 3 is still lame, Gutair Hero 2 is really fun.

Oh yeah, and there will be a Forced Laughter re-union in 2009. Stay interested.
Don't get it? Oh well.
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Sunday, November 19th, 2006

Subject:...and one month later.
Time:9:44 pm.
Mood: tired.
This shit is in my house. NO JOKE!
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Monday, October 30th, 2006

Subject:I'm a panic bomb, baby!
Time:10:28 pm.
Mood: anxious.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 50%
Stability |||||||||| 36%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 43%
Accommodation |||||||||||| 43%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 43%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||| 36%
Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56%
Materialism |||||||||||| 50%
Narcissism |||||| 23%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||| 23%
Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43%
Conflict seeking |||||| 23%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||| 16%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70%
Wealth |||| 16%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 70%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Sexuality |||||| 23%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 70%
Physical Fitness |||| 17%
Histrionic |||||| 30%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 50%
Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Female cliche |||| 16%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

To be honest, I didn't think much of this was true. Maybe I just don't want to admit it to myself.
To sum it up, it's basically saying that I'm an asshole.
I hate analyzing myself.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, October 19th, 2006

Subject:Happy happy, joy joy!
Time:5:45 pm.
Mood: anxious.
In exactly one month
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
this will be in my possession.
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, October 15th, 2006

Time:1:50 am.
Mood: sore.
I figured I should update, since I haven't in a considerable amount of time. I just got back from seeing Bomb the Music Industry! in the city. They were pretty tight. But more importantly, earlier in the day I went to the doctor. It turns out that my back is really fucked up, which really comes as no suprise really, more fucked up than I expected though. It's going at a 45 degree angle. Not only that but my "growth plates" have stopped, so I'm done getting taller. This means, I cannot wear a brace for this jazz. It's possible surgury, according to the doctor. There is no other way to reverse it, other than that. The only way I can get out of surgery, is do one of two things.

1) I start exerciseing, and prevent the spine from getting worse.
2) I don't exercise, get surgery in June, and I don't get out of the hospital until September.

Yeah, so it's a pretty fucked up situation. I guess I'll just have to learn to exercise a lot, and lose a signifigant amount of weight.
It really annoys me, how a lot of the people in this town talk about how shitty their lives are. Maybe if they stopped and took a look around, they'd realize that they have it pretty good. Friends, family, and a roof over their head, but apparently hooking up with a "bitch" is more important, and means the world to them. I'm just sick of everyone's fucking whineing. I have a fucked up spinal cord, but I'm not gonna ask for attention and die for sympathy, and beg someone to hook up with me. I'll just fucking deal with it. I'm a pretty fortunate person. Just because something unfortunate happens doesn't mean my life sucks. *My life is pretty good, actually. I just don't want back surgery.
Anyway, Bomb the Music Industry! was pretty good. They played So Let's Go Nowhere, by ASOB. Fun was had by all.
Sleep now.
*My older live journal entries from '04/'05 might combat that statement.
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Monday, October 9th, 2006

Subject:Dear, Life
Time:2:01 am.
Mood: stressed.
Swing from my nuts.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 11th, 2006

Subject:coppied from my myspace bulletin:
Time:9:50 pm.
Mood: chilly.
I anticipate seeing hundreds of bulletins mentioning the date, September 11th, and the events that took place 5 years ago. It's true, the attacks in New York and Washington D.C. (why does everyone always forget about Washington, anyways?) were major tragedies but please don't buy into the hyper-patriotism that was pinned to every citizen. Take some time to remember the thouasands that died in and around the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and in the Pennsylvania plane crash, but also take time to remember the thousands of American soldiers killed fighting an illegitimate war in Iraq in the name of 9/11 and antiterrorism, and also take the time to remember the thousands of Iraqis who have been killed defending their country from an unprovoked invasion force. Many innocent civilians were killed five years ago, but they weren't killed because terrorists (or Muslims) hate our freedom or our way of life. They hate us because, for decades, we've led coups to overthrow democratically-elected leaders in the Middle East and other regions of the world. We've been tampering with their countries and their politics and most people in the U.S. don't even know that. The people we're fighting - the actual terrorists, not Iraqis - remember this, and the terrorist attacks against the U.S. are in retalliation for things we've done to them. I'm not saying it's justified and I'm not saying I hate America. I'm just saying it's a bit ironic that so many people today are going to be waving flags and praising our country when the people who died five years ago died as punishment for things our government did without anyone's consent.
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Friday, September 1st, 2006

Subject:This year, for September, I'm giving up on Livejournal.com
Time:12:14 am.
Mood: surprised.
IT'S SEPTEMBER! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! ...Oh..15 minutes ago? okay. LATE!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, August 18th, 2006

Time:1:01 am.
Mood: paintbrush.
Way back in the hay-day of 2005 Boot's had an idea for a web comic. It was something about NoFX fans and Scene kids. Needless to say, it was a brilliant idea. I don't know why we never followed up on it. We all know hardcore NoFX fans are arrogant pricks, [just like Fat Mike himself] and what is there to say about scene kids? Hipsters piss me off. Dicks.

If you look at the comments on that entry, you'll find a link to my live journal last year. I was pretty lame, and as you can see, not much has changed. I had a lot of friends then, a lot of them were girls too. I could relate this to an ASOB song, but...nah.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006

Subject:help out.
Time:1:35 am.
Mood: blank.
please be a good person and help out. our current administration is trying to get rid of a SUICIDE hotline in exchange for a government run hotline that involves "faith based" intervention, NON-private phone lines (more spying), and less lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender help. So click the thing, write the letter and feel alright about your day. http://www.save1800suicide.org/

warped tour is in a few days. yeah.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, July 13th, 2006

Subject:oh, the 90s
Time:2:39 am.
Mood: nostalgic.

Watch that and tell me you don't feel nostalgic. I miss spending saturdays in boots's basement watching the spiderman animated series, and playing with figures. I miss going to the beach with my parents, when they were still in their late 30's, and not as bossy. I miss having my brothers around all the time and playing my super nintendo in my basement. I miss walking around in Video Vision with my brothers, and renting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on VHS. :( I wish it was still 1995, so I could go see Jumanji, and play with my Talk-Boy, while I watch my brother play Ski-Free.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006

Subject:i'm so tired.
Time:5:23 pm.
Mood: pessimistic.
I really hate the way summer is going so far. My molars came in and they destroyed my ears. I can barely hear anything. I've been carrying around my own personal bottle of motrin to subside the intense pain. Other than that, my days have been comprised of waking up at 3:00, taking a shower, sitting home all day, playing runescape until about 3 or 4 in the morining. I hate it. I need something to happen. I need to actually get off the couch and find something to smile about. I'm going to wyoming with my parents on friday to Yellow-Stone natl. park. I don't really want to go at all, but It's only for a week, so it probably won't be that bad. I got an [mostly] instrumental Fugazi album. It's damn good.
I'm starting to get the feeling that a lot of people just don't like being around me. Is that normal? Am i normal? Whatever. You're all assholes.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Eric Wilson.

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